Hawkfire's Story
by SarKel
Summary: Hawkfire now lives, somewhat happily, with LunarClan.  But he wasn't always like that.  First, he had to escape the claws of DuskClan's rules and lifestyle.. and he didn't escape unscathed, either.
1. Prologue

_**H A W K F I R E ~**_

Many cats are horrified by my appearance – my horrendous scars, my torn ears, the lines cutting through my pelt, the slashes across my face. My personality frightens them, as well. The way I snarl when I speak, the way I glare when spoken to, how I am quick to unsheathe my claws when angered.

You think I was born this way? With these twitchy reflexes? With this harsh nature?

They can't even begin to imagine the kind of world of pain and suffering I had to live in to acquire those scars, to become that kind of cat.

I've had to do and endure things that I hope no other cat has to experience in their lives. But me? I'll be imprinted with these scars, these reminders of what I did until the day I join StarClan – but with the deeds I've done, maybe I'm headed for Dark Forest.

Pray for me, my friend, as you read this, as you learn of my story and hard journey.

Maybe I'll pray for you. We could all use a little bit of luck.

_**P R O L O G U E - H I G H • E X P E C T A T I O N S**_

It's a warm, newleaf day, the camp of DuskClan bustling with activity, cats heading this way and that. Unsurprisingly, most are heading to the training hollow to fight each other, to harden their fighting skills. It's what DuskClan was all about, after all.

A dark brown tom paces outside the nursery – Mudstar, the leader of this Clan. His kits are soon going to be born, inside, where the medicine cat sits with his mate. He's restless, impatient. The time for waiting is over!

And then the soft mews of the newborn kittens are heard, and he heads in without hesitation, eager to see his kits, his legacies.

His dark eyes pass over the three kits – one is dead, already. What a shame. His loss will not be mourned – no, DuskClan has more important things to attend to then a kit that was born dead. Business to attend to.

The second is small. It has hopes of surviving, but Mudstar can't help but shake his head in disgust. This _thing _is his kit? His flesh and blood? He thinks otherwise.

The third is a strong, healthy tom.

His eyes flare with approval at the sight of his third kit. He runs his tongue over his head, and the kit nuzzles into his mother's, Lionbreeze's, side.

"Hawkkit," Mudstar says, his eyes glowing. The name would fit the cat well. He was sure to be strong and quick, just like a hawk. Just as merciless as well.

"What about our other son?" Lionbreeze asks quietly, looking at the smaller kit curled against his brother's side. She nudges him with her muzzle. Her eyes show known of the disgust or disapproval that her mate's eyes had. No, nothing but the warm glow of a mother's love.

"Smallkit," he says simply, obviously not concerned about the kit.

Lionbreeze stares at him. He can't be serious! Smallkit?

But the leader is serious, and she doesn't dare question her mate's word. What the leader said was final, after all. She sighs heavily, closing her eyes.

Without another word, Mudstar runs his tongue over Hawkkit's head again and stalks out of the nursery, the sun shining on his dark pelt.

His son will make a fine warrior, that, he's sure of. Already.


	2. Allegiances

**Allegiances**

_**D U S K C L A N**_

**Leader:**

Mudstar – a dark brown tom with green eyes.

**Deputy:**

Spiderfang – a black tom with deep blue eyes.

_Apprentice - Hawkpaw_

**Medicine cat:**

Honeypelt – a golden tabby she-cat with blue eyes.

_Apprentice – Ghostpaw_

**Warriors:**

Dawnshadow – a bright, ginger she-cat with green eyes.

_Apprentice – Smallpaw_

Ivyclaw – a brown tabby tom with hazel eyes.

Flamescar – a ginger and white tom with a scar running across one of his brown eyes.

Cloverstalk – A cream-colored tabby tom with bright green eyes.

_Apprentice – Whisperpaw_

Raggedfur – A light brown tabby tom with amber eyes and a ragged fur.

**Apprentices:**

Hawkpaw – a brown tortoiseshell tom with bright green eyes.

Smallpaw – a small, golden tom with green eyes.

Ghostpaw – a silvery she-cat with pale blue eyes.

Whisperpaw – a gray tom with amber eyes.

**Queens:**

Lionbreeze – A golden she-cat with green eyes.

**Kits:**

None.

**Elders:**

Stonemask – a dark gray tom with blue eyes.

Mistyeyes – a blind, light gray tabby she-cat with clouded amber eyes.

_**D A W N C L A N**_

**Leader:**

Breezestar – a light gray tabby tom with blue eyes.

**Deputy:**

Summersky – a golden tabby she-cat with amber eyes.

**Medicine cat:**

Dreamfrost – a dark gray she-cat with blue eyes.

_Apprentice – Mousepaw_

**Warriors:**

Nightfoot – a white she-cat with one black paw and green eyes.

_Apprentice – Birdpaw_

Snakewhisker – a brown tortoiseshell tom with amber eyes.

Sootcloud – a dark gray she-cat with green eyes.

Spottedmoon – a light gray, spotted tom with brown eyes.

_Apprentice - Applepaw_

Larksong – a light brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes.

**Apprentices:**

Mousepaw – a dark brown tom with amber eyes.

Birdpaw – a dark gray-blue she-cat with green eyes.

Applepaw – a ginger she-cat with blue eyes.

**Queens:**

None.

**Kits:**

None.

**Elders:**

Pebbletooth – a white she-cat with small teeth and blue eyes.


	3. Chapter One: If I Die Young

_**C H A P T E R • O N E - I F • I • D I E • Y O U N G**_

I nuzzle against my mother, Lionbreeze's, side, allowing her larger body to warm me. My brother, Smallkit, is nestled against my side. The patterns of their breathing comfort me, settling me into a kind of trance.

Suddenly, I hear a loud, booming voice, recognizing it to be that of my father, Mudstar.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather!" he yowls, the sound of it echoing off the walls of dens, rousing cats from whatever they had been doing moments before.

"Hawkkit! Smallkit!" he shouts, calling our names.

I feel my mother tense and snarl, but she rises, pushing the two of us along.

Smallkit stumbles over his small paws beside me, but manages to get through with Lionbreeze's help. I don't make a sound, not daring to whimper as I try to scramble faster.

"Mudstar!" she yowls, her tone furious. "They're too young!" Her voice trembles with outrage, and for a moment, I'm terrified of what might happen.

"Lionbreeze," he replies, shaking his head in pity, which makes her fur rise in sheer fury. "They're never too young to learn. DuskClan needs all the paws it can get." His gaze is hard and cold.

"Yes, but not _kits _who can barely _walk _by themselves!" she shrieks in protest, her whole body trembling now. I shrink away. My mother has never been this way before, and it terrifies me.

Mudstar gives her a steely look. "Obey me, or face exile." His tone is final, not tolerating any kind of protest.

Lionbreeze falls to a silent rage, her eyes on us. "Please, Mudstar," she says, her tone much quieter now. "They're too young. I'm telling you, they are too young!" She sounds broken, torn.

Mudstar ignores her. "Hawkkit! Smallkit! Up here, now!" he bellows, commanding us.

I stagger forward, looking at my mother. Her eyes scream no, but my father's voice orders yes. Something pulls me towards my father's perch. I scrabble up the rocky side, my claws slipping and losing their grip on its surface. Smallkit does not fare much better, and I try to help him, but there's not much I can do when I'm failing as well.

Mudstar snarls in irritation, but does not help us – merely watches us struggle until we're beside him, trembling badly, eyes fearful of what's going to happen next.

He clears his throat, turning his attention back to the stunned Clan below. Of course, they shouldn't have been so stunned, Mudstar had done this before, quite often.

"This is a proud day for DuskClan, by naming apprentices we show DuskClan will survive and remain strong. Hawkkit and Smallkit, from now on until you receive your warrior name you will be known as Hawkpaw and Smallpaw.

"Spiderfang, you are ready for an apprentice, you will be Hawkpaw's mentor. I know you will pass on your strength to Hawkpaw, and teach him the skills that will make him a brave warrior of DuskClan."

I spot a large, scarred warrior separate from the group of cats below and bound up to us easily. His eyes glint as he smiles at me, before bending down to touch my trembling nose. Fear fills my whole being. Spiderfang is deputy, and merciless in battle. What will happen to me?

"Dawnshadow, you are ready for an apprentice, you will be Smallpaw's mentor. I know you will pass on your courage to Smallpaw, and teach him the skills that will make him a brave warrior of DuskClan."

The ginger she-cat breaks away from the cluster of cats, bounding up to us in the same way that Spiderfang had. She bends down and touches her nose to Smallpaw's, whose whole body is trembling.

"Hawkpaw! Smallpaw!" the crowd cheers.

The sound of my apprentice name does not fill me with pride, as I had thought it would. There is no feeling of accomplishment. No kind of good feeling at all.

Instead, I am filled with a sense of dread.


	4. Chapter Two: Pleasing the Master

_**C H A P T E R • T W O - P L E A S I N G • T H E • M A S T E R**_

I am now six moons old – the appropriate age for an apprentice; yet, I've been one for two and a half moons now. The life and duties of one are no longer unknown to me.

Spiderfang stalks ahead of me, tail lashing as he heads for the training hollow. I hurry to keep up, but no longer do I stumble or bounce as I walk. My childlike nature has been broken and torn away without mercy by these warriors, who are determined to pound me into the mold of what they believe to be a "strong warrior."

We enter the training are, only to find that Dawnshadow and Smallpaw are already training there.

"Well, hello, hello," Spiderfang said, his tone chilling me. I remain silent as I slink along beside him.

Dawnshadow looks up, her eyes glinting. "Didn't expect you to be here, Spiderfang," she says. Despite the fact she's one of our best and most courageous warriors, there's something different about her, something that seems… softer. Gentler. I'm happy Smallpaw got her as a mentor.

"You should have," he replies. "Hawkpaw and I need to do some training."

Smallpaw remains silent, though I notice the slight tremors in his body as he watches Spiderfang. They'd been there since he was born. It wasn't some chill or even fear. Just the way he was.

"Then let's train together," she says, turning back to her own apprentice with a dignified and proud look. She says something quietly to him, something I can't hear.

Spiderfang bends down to murmur something in my ear. "Give him everything you got," he says. "Don't let me down – show him who's superior."

I find myself accepting my mentor's words. I will _not _let him down. I have to make him proud if I want to become the warrior everyone expects me to be.

I turn to look at my brother, my chin held slightly higher.

Smallpaw looks at his mentor, who nods to him before glancing at us. "I'll observe from the side. Spiderfang, you too." She pads to the edge, away from the main fighting area.

Spiderfang dons a smirk as he pads after Dawnshadow, settling down. He nods to me.

I tense my muscles, gathering strength in my hind legs. Smallpaw swallows, seeming to finally find his backbone and toughen up.

I dart forward, leaping at him. He squeaks, trying to dive sideways, but my paw shoots out and cuffs him in the head, sending him doubling over onto the ground. I land with a dull thud and whip to face him, snarling.

He scrambles to his paws, wincing slightly. I lunge again, yowling loudly before barreling straight into him.

We go tumbling, but I stop us, trapping his weight underneath me.

"Smallpaw!" Dawnshadow bellows. "Remember what I taught you!"

Smallpaw grunts, his unsheathed claws raking at my belly, drawing blood. Snarling viciously, I unsheathe my own claws, bringing my paw down across his face.

He whimpers slightly, pulling back and scrambling to his paws, blood dripping from the slashes across his face. My belly fur is matted and warm with blood, but I manage to ignore it, and face him.

Smallpaw pants, and I can tell the blood is blurring his vision. Good. I decide to take advantage of this and strike again.

Suddenly, everything around me seems to blur, my heartbeat loud in my ears, adrenaline rushing through my veins. Nothing matters but to fight. And win.

And I will.

Smallpaw fails to escape me, and I land on his side, pinning him down. My claws dig into his golden pelt, tearing fur and drawing blood as it slices through his skin. He yowls, but I ignore his cries of pain and protest. I do the one thing my instincts are screaming at me to.

I dig my teeth into his throat.

Another yowl escapes his throat, gurgling and choking. I hear Dawnshadow gasp and lurch to her paws, but Spiderfang stops her, his eyes glued on me.

I don't care. All I have to do is finish the mission I sought out to do.

Smallpaw's claws scratch at me feebly, snagging in my pelt, but it doesn't do anything. His warm blood gushes over my mouth, the coppery taste and scent overwhelm me, but I hold on, not letting up.

His movements stop, and my teeth slide from his throat. I step back and look at his motionless body, blood pooling around his neck. My vision clears up again, the adrenaline draining from me.

I gasp. What have I done? This is my brother! My small, helpless brother!

"Smallpaw, no," I suddenly say, broken.

Spiderfang pads over, his eyes glowing. He stands beside me, before stooping to murmur in my ears again. "Do not mourn for him. Those he cannot survive are not worthy of living."

Tears stain the fur of my muzzle, but I nod, refusing to speak. I just killed my own brother.

But as I listen to Spiderfang, something in my heart hardens.

I look at my still brother, his glazed eyes, the fur matted with blood.

And never again did I shed another tear.


End file.
